hi everyone. i hope you are ready to see photos of the inside of my esophagus and stomach because here they are!




the first time i had one of these photoshoots back in september my dad said it looked a lot like his colonoscopy, which-- fair! i saw uncut gems. 

anyway these pictures are from yesterday. they have to put you to sleep to do the endoscopy, so it's this whole thing with the gown and the monitor and the little stickers on your chest and and the iv and that. i don't have munchausen's and i definitely couldn't afford it but i DO love attention, so i see where those guys are coming from. you really get to be the star of the show in a hospital. unless you're on grey's anatomy, in which case you're probably more of a co-star (misleading BIZ LINGO for bottom tier speaking role).

anyway i woke up this time and it was a real laugh because the whole point of the whole thing was to deploy this device (see image three) in me that's supposed to take some pH readings. and so i'm awake and the thing is inside me they're waving this little box around my chest trying to get me to connect like a bluetooth speaker, and no dice!!!!!! device not found!!! ready to pair!!

so i'm going back tomorrow to do it all over again, which is fine because as we've established i love attention and being asked questions such as if i'm allergic to nickel (no) and if i have any heart conditions (no). i also admittedly get a little thrill out of being sedated. can't rule out my love of attention entirely, but i think it has a little more to do with the fact that it plays out exactly the way movies would have you believe it does. (different personality defect that we won't get into now)

anyway, here's to modern medicine!

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